*Affiliate Links are posted!
Recently I made a post about 10 signs of anxiety and my background on dealing with it all my life. If you have not read it, please start here.
1. Eating Healthy
I don’t eat perfectly but I am a work in progress. I was an emotional eater! Anytime I was sad, mad, angry, happy, etc…I was running to some cake!! I knew for years that it was not good for me but my emotions would always defeat the knowledge that it was not good for me. December 2018, I made the decision that I wanted to do better and I stopped eating red meat, sugar sweets over 7 g, and cut out all soda. It was 5 months before I had any juice or soda because I had to beat the addiction before I would allow myself a treat. Now I have juice occasionally but if I am honest it is only like four times a month as a chaser.
In March, I cut out all meat as that was something I had been wanting to do for years. I am more of a sauce person; I will take the BBQ sauce over the chicken any day. I have since incorporated more fruits and vegetables into my diet. In doing so I have maintained my lost weight and I feel better and happier about myself and my body. If this is an area of concern for you research the effect your diet has on your emotions and body. NOW MAKE THE APPROPRIATE CHANGES TO FIT YOUR LIFESTYLE!
I was very unhappy with my weight!! It stressed me out and made me depressed to look at my body. One day I said no more and began exercising. I started out doing 10-minute dance videos 6 days a week with 1 rest day!
I STILL CAN’T DANCE but her videos are fun, and it made the time go by fast! SUPPORT A SISTA’!!
When my stamina increased, and my body began making changes I wanted to do more try new things. I started doing 2 leg days, 2 arm days, 2 cardio, abs 4 or 5 days (some workouts especially full body include abs), and rest 1 day. You can do HIIT, dance, walking, jogging…just about anything to get your body moving.
I had always liked yoga and started a couple times in the past but because I was not really doing it for the right reasons or in the right headspace I would quit. The last few months though I have gotten back started and although it isn’t daily, I love it. I used to hate stretching now I enjoy seeing what the body can do and how flexible you become over time!
I love watching black girls’ yoga on Instagram. In my random tag searches, I stumbled upon @mynameisjessamyn and I have just fallen in love with her! Her confidence and spunk in her storytelling is just so inspiring! I recently bought her book, Everybody Yoga on amazon for $9.99.
She also has a subscription-based app with full length videos (25 plus minutes) for $9.99 a month. Go ahead and download it now and enjoy a 3-day free trial. (NO SPONSER) I just truly enjoy her vibe and I am sure you will too! Follow her and thank me later!!
Just start with what you have! If your heart desires click the yoga link and grab a mat…but still start TODAY!!
If you are like me you may think that you will never be good at meditation because you can’t turn your mind off and stop the thoughts from flowing. Well my friend; you and I were both wrong! One day, I was telling my good friend how I wanted to do meditation and the issue I was having, and she was like it doesn’t always have to be you sitting still and not thinking. She referred me to high frequency sound meditation and that was a GAME CHANGER!!
I began listening to it daily and it calmed me down and helped me to sleep better. There was a time when I could not go to sleep without it because I couldn’t stop the random negative thoughts! You can play them on any device where the YouTube app can be downloaded and listen for hours upon hours upon hours for the FREE 99 if you desire. I have learned that meditation comes in many forms so research and see what works best for you!
In my case I just love painting my nails. I have had pedicures in the past both in the nail salon and with an at home foot spa. It has been some years since I have had a pedicure though with 3 little ones 5 and under. I don’t get that much free time, so I usually just paint my toes and take a hot bubble bath.
I talked about this in the above paragraph to because LITERALLY (almost) NOTHING makes me happier then ending my night in a bubble bath with and prefer to take a bath with preferably a glass of wine. But since it was cold this night, I enjoyed a hot chocolate and watched YouTube!!
YouTube is my choice! I only keep up with like 3 tv shows (Grey’s Anatomy-MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SHOW, Chicago Fire- I am catching up, and Power-really only because I started it so want to see how it will end). But I suggest finding a form of entertainment you can lose yourself in for an hour or more. It’s nice to sit and not think about your problems or your to do list and just watch a show.
7. Support Group (in person or online):
I moved an hour away from my family and friends 6 and a half years ago for my husbands’ job. As an introvert it takes me a while to come out of my awkward shell and get to know a person so making in person friends has not been easy. Thankfully, I found out that you can find comradery and solace online!
There is something for everything at every stage of your life! One I frequent right now is: Black Woman Blog! Just by doing a search on Facebook for what you are looking for and you will find it or something similar. Some popular ones I have frequented in the past…
-Breastfeeding Support Group for Black Moms
-Black Girls Craft
-Babyled Weaning for Black Moms (first foods 6 months or older related)
-Black Moms that Cloth Diaper
-South Jersey Real Estate Investor Network
-Trash The Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce -Going through a divorce and/or separation can be an extremely embarrassing and lonely time…this group was very well organized and supportive. Sometimes I would get on Facebook just to see what these ladies were up to.
Scroll the comments and pins! PLEASE USE THE SEARCH SECTION because I have learned that people will ask the same questions over and over. In some group’s members are kind about it and in other groups you will be outcast real fast and in a hurry! But begin to mingle and find your tribe. You may actually find like minded people that live right in your backyard who are open to meeting in person or even get invited to smaller, personal, invite only groups! Despite how lonely you may feel…YOU ARE NEVER REALLY ALONE!
I do not have much experience with in-person support groups. I have attended only one which was a birthing class during my 3rd pregnancy. I only attended because they gave a free gift card for babies r us weekly. But by opening my mind I met some like minded individuals and learned some new information even in my 3rd pregnancy. It only lasted 4 weeks so I didn’t get a chance to build any lasting relationships but nonetheless it was nice to get out the house and around some adults a couple hours a week. I took my baby too and people swooned over him. If you have a lil’ one; do not keep yourself in the house because you don’t have childcare.
I have learned through the years; people love babies and are happy that you pushed through to make it! Most will let you know if they aren’t baby/kid friendly by stating NO KIDS ALLOWED! You can always ask too just to be sure!
9. Vent it Out
For a long time, I was really ashamed about the stuff that I was going through in my marriage so I wouldn’t talk to anyone. Then there was another time that I felt like I was making my issues an idol by talking about them! (a religious misconception) Slowly but surely, I began opening up and learned it is not what you say but how you say it. If you play the victim to your person then you become a leech and will drain that friendship quickly. (Yes men are TOXIC too Steer Clear)
It’s Not What You SAY, It’s How You SAY It!!
But regardless, you have to get it out and be willing and open to do the work to change your situation! What stays in the dark cannot be healed!! Through the last couple years, I have built a village of 5 or so likeminded friends and we talk about it. We respect, we listen, we encourage, and ultimately, we inspire each other. I love and couldn’t imagine doing life without my tribe! You don’t have to talk everyday about your problems it will become draining…but talk sometimes anyway!!
Writing has always been a fun past time and release to me! My earliest memories are of me and an old friend writing stories in multiple notebooks from early afternoon until evening in person. Then we would go home and write some more until bed; waking up and doing it all over again!
After our friendship ended, I moved on to junior and high school where I spent too much time to writing letters with friends. I wrote on and off in journals too throughout the years. I like the idea of reflecting on growth, but I am better with just the memories. Journaling is a most for many people. Check out @alexelle on IG she is awesome too at sharing her growth and how shares how she turned her love for journaling for her own well-being and peace of mind into a career. She sells books, work through journals, and host journaling retreats!!
If you haven’t tried and this is something that peeks your interest or you have thought about but haven’t tried…please do! You can write about any and everything…poems, stories, thoughts, feelings, letters, etc.
I hope these 10 selfcare/lifestyle changes encourage you to start right where you are and incorporate 1 or more into your routine. You can start off once a week or daily until it becomes a healthy habit. It is said that it takes 21 days of consistency to start a new habit! If it becomes a burden, then stop! This journey of self-care and awareness should be one of PEACE!
The more you care about yourself, the more you begin loving you, coping, and controlling your energy, emotions, and most important your anxiety!!