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My Background with Anxiety:
As a child, putting my needs/wants first was not taught. That important lesson may have helped my anxiety way before it became uncontrollable later in life. I grew up in a family that is very religious, ” turn the other cheek, and look out for people” no matter what peace of mind it cost you. I learned to grin, bare, and bury my feelings which led to suffering many signs of anxiety and depression young!
It was not until I found myself separated from my husband who was living with another woman that I needed to do more to take care of me. We had just had our third son; making 2 kids in 2 years. They are 15 months apart. Had a 7-year-old son whom was acting out in school, 2 babies (1 high needs and extremely attached), and I had no real income as I was a stay at home mom. I was still dependent upon my husband who would stop by daily to come and visit the kids, but we barely talked.
Doing Something Different…Seeking Help!!
Intuition told me that I needed to stand up and go see a doctor. I delayed it for so long but if I am honest with myself (hindsight is 20/20) I should have been on medication in high school. In many Christian homes, we are shamed for facing mental illness and told we are not praying or going to church enough. That dangerous thought process became ingrained in me! I had been doing both, but it was not working, and I could not figure out why!
After facing depression and suicidal thoughts stemming from my husband’s infidelity and my failure to stand up for myself and leave the marriage. Finally, I was fed up with worrying and my roller coaster of emotions I made the doctors appointment. I was so nervous and started to cancel the appointment a couple times, but I am glad I kept it and WENT!
We are Never Alone!
After starting medication and the shame subsiding, I began to talk to close family and friends whom revealed that they too had medication. Years previous a friend and I tried; Natrol Anxiety and Stress Day & Nite but it was 30.00 a month at the time and after a couple of months I could not afford it. I feel in my case, like medication maybe a mind over matter type of experience ( results and medications will vary) because I felt less worry and calm.
I was on and off medication for 3 years. I had another baby in that time as well. This time it was a baby girl and having a daughter has really opened my eyes to self-care and loving myself. I want her to do better than me and make wiser choicest! The only way she will know to take care of herself is if I take care of myself and set/stick to boundaries that allow me to have peace of mind. She will be 2 in April and I have been off medication for a year and a half now.
Light at the End of the Tunnel…
I have bad days, but I no longer need help to see the end of the tunnel. Self-care and advocation have changed my life completely! I teach it to my kids, so they know not to compromise their overall peace at the expense of something or someone. I also learned recently in the last 2 weeks of 2019 that I have amazing friends because when I was ready to give up on this blog and stressed; they encouraged me to continue. Get you an awesome tribe who will allow you to have a moment but tell you to get back on the horse because YOU CAN! LIFE MUST GO ON!!
I know mental health is an illness that people cannot and DO NOT CHOOSE! I am an advocate and strongly recommend seeing a doctor and/or counselor if you exhibit any of any signs listed below. Again, medication was a game changer for me. I will also list some selfcare changes and supplements that help me, and other people cope and live/thrive daily.
Anxiety Disorder is usually Self-Diagnosable:
1.Worry: gives way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.
2.Irritability: the quality or state of being irritable.
3.Lack of Concentration: difficulty focusing, unclear thought process.
4.Unwanted Thoughts: constantly thinking of negative, sad, angry thoughts.
5.Fatigue: being tired all the time.
6.Sweating: soaking through clothes beyond the normal sweating because of activity or in the son.
7.Insomnia: not being able to sleep because your mind is constantly worrying about what has happen and/or what will happen.
8.Nausea: feeling that you must vomit.
9.Fear: scared, nervous about something that is to come.
10.Palpitations: having a fast beating, fluttering, heartbeat.
*More research can be found at: https//g.co/kgs/ajMntA
If EXHIBIT 1 or more of these symptoms that keep you from wanting to live or find joy in life. Please, please see a doctor. You are not weak! You are very courageous and love yourself more then you know to want to FIGHT for yourself and wellbeing!
Self Care and Lifestyle Changes…
Below are changes I implemented that helped me grow mentally, physically, and spiritually over the last couple years. Especially 2019 has been the best year yet as I have learned to incorporate them regularly.
No is a Complete Sentence!
*No! No explanation needed! Saying NO to ANY and EVERYTHING that you can control that doesn’t bring you peace! I had a hard time telling my husband no for a long time. It would beat me up inside to say yes but I felt guilty at the idea of saying no and making him mad. One day, about 6 years ago he asked me to make him some eggs. It was no big deal to just make the eggs, but I didn’t want to! I told him No! He did get mad, but it was not the end of the world and I was relieved that I did what I wanted to do for once. Over time saying no became easier!
Release all that negativity in your body and please yourself!
*Masturbation! When you cum and orgasm it releases endorphins, which is the hormone that plays some roll in making one happy. If you are like I was and have the idea that masturbation is wrong or embarrassing… I would HIGHLY suggest reading the book; Pussy Prayers!
I am very hands on type of book person, so I bought this book and IT CHANGED MY LIFE! As a child I was just told not to have sex! I was never told why or why not; just don’t do it! I didn’t have friends who talked about it. So although temptation was high to do it growing up, I felt like I was doing something wrong. Because of this notion I came up with the idea that sex was meant to be enjoyed with a partner. Bad thing about that ALL PARTNERS ARE NOT WORTHY PARTNERS!
This book took me back to childhood and taught me why my PUSSY IS POWERFUL AND WORTHY! I worked through my shame and embarrassment and now even my husband looks like that is a turn on. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE A WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER BODY AND WORTH! With masturbation you don’t have to wait for anyone to please you; by knowing what you like and what feels good to you sexually SATISFY yourself alone. You set yourself up not to settle for someone who doesn’t take your being sexually pleased serious.
Women Treat Yourselves and Thank Me Later…
Men Treat Your Ladies and Happy Lady, Happy Life!!!
Satifyer Travel and the Satisfyer Pro 2 are HIGHLY REVIEWED AND RAVED about clit stim toys (A GIRLS BEST FRIEND) that will bring you to a FULL BLOWN, CLIMAX within a matter of minutes. No one has all day to reach a FULL BODY SHAKING, KNOCK YOU OUT O especially as parents. TIME IS VALUABLE! Reach your ORGASM so you can get to sleep and/or sneak it in while your children are briefly occupied! YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL WILL THANK YOU!!
The supplements, herbs, and essential oils I list below are ones that I have used and would have kept using if I could have afforded to buy them as needed. So, while I am a big advocate of medication, I also recommend trying the natural route first. I try to do everything as naturally as possible now that I am older and know how rough pharmaceutical medications can be on your body especially in children. In this list I recommend two medications that I have personally used with my 10-year-old son and know to work with close family and friend’s children as well. (Please as with all supplements do your research and speak to your doctor if you have any questions!!) Supplements should be taken along with an adequately healthy diet (not meant to replace) which can provide a wealth of nutrition and benefits on its own.
1. Ashwagandha is a powerful adaptogen that provides a natural way to help reduce and/or rid yourself of stress and negativity from anxiety. Ashwagandha may also help with forgetfulness and alertness.
2. Weed when smoked and/or through edibles (brownies are my preference but as with all edibles it is VERY EASY TO OVERDUE IT) in low or moderate amounts can have relaxing and anxiety relieving effects. While I recommend trying it I am no DOCTOR and THC does raise your heart rate and too much or the wrong strand (DO YOUR REEARCH AS THEIR ARE MANY)can make your anxiety worse and cause you to feel scared and paranoid which has led many people in the hospital. Also beware it is illegal in many states!
2.5. CBD is a form of cannabinoid naturally found in marijuana and hemp plants that does not have the THC. THC is what causes the intoxication and high feeling. You can find CBD in many forms (foods, bathbombs, creams, etc). Here I link the oil.
Paper Book $9.39
3. St. Johns Wart has the ability to promote a healthy mood and mind. The supplement can help regulate internal balance, weight control, energy, alertness, relieve stress, and anxiety.
1. Natrol Anxiety and Stress Day & Nite Read under we are not alone above for my experience.
Melatonin for Children includes Elderberry (immune booster) and Vitamin D (bone, teeth, muscle, and immune health)…so you get three goodies for the price of 1!!
3. Calm Child is a special blend of chamomile, lemon balm and catnip with the nourishing tonifiers hawthorn, jujube, gotu kola and amla which encourages calmness and focus.